From Pain I Discovered My Passion

It is with great pleasure and gratitude that I share with you my wellness journey.  Each Wednesday, I will share with you extracts from my debut book ‘Understanding Human Nature – A User’s Guide To Life’.  Today I share with you how I turned my painful experiences into a burning desire to pursue my passions in life.

Extract from Understanding Human Nature – A User’s Guide To Life

There have been many turning points in my life. Some big. Some dramatic. And some seemingly imperceptible at the time, until I look back and realise how much they inform who I am today. It’s all too easy to call them low points, when in reality they are just ‘turning points’, navigational aids, letting me know I’m diverting off track or have some work to do.

I’ve always been interested in finding out how things work. Not inanimate objects, but how life itself works. Sure, at school, we are taught concepts, but these mainly lend themselves towards making one ‘successful’ within the confines and perspective of a particular society, rather than teaching you about the whole game of life. Where on earth – literally! – was any kind of narrative, explanation or instruction manual on life itself?

Now I get that we are all different. My brother’s bliss, his ‘Tao’, path and purpose, is tinkering with his 500cc Ducati. He’s happy stripping it down and rebuilding its engines, whereas my purpose is very different. It took me years to work out that we all have our own destiny and bliss. There’s no judgement; it is what it is! I spent years wondering why I wasn’t the same as seemingly everyone around me, until I found my place.

Let’s go back to one of my turning points. I was about 17. My parents had separated which catalysed some big changes for me and a collapse of sorts. I don’t attribute any blame or fault whatsoever, as like most parents they were trying as hard as they could, and I had a good childhood. Even if you perceive your parents’ behaviour to be misaligned, keeping the broader holistic perspective, they are not the only significant input to shape you into who you are today.

I was 17, my parents had split a couple of years previously and until then I had been nicely cocooned in a family and somewhat sheltered, which meant I never really had to reach out to seek or find answers. So ultimately, looking back now, their separation, although a source of pain, was the catalyst for me being who I am today. It forced me to go out and explore the world, and for that I am grateful.

One of the consequences of this significant rupture of my cocoon was that in my mind, on some kind of logical level, I wanted to almost adopt the group of friends I’d now buddied up with as my ‘new’ family and ‘secure unit’.

I was a teenager with lots of energy reaching out, as you do at that age, seeking an identity, but I didn’t know myself, let alone these new people I’d only recently met!

Summary

I was a lost soul trying to find my place in this World. It took me getting in with the wrong crowd, drinking too much and the pain of navigating tough relationships to re-discover myself and my new identity in this World and how I could help others.  It is from the darkest moments that I found my light.

So, if you are going through a hard time then understand that our painful moments do not define us.  Sometimes the Universe puts us into situations to help us build resilience and steer us in the right direction.  As Ryan Holiday would say ‘The Obstacle Is The Way’.

If you want to find out more about how these my life-changing events unfolded and changed my life then grab a copy of my book.  It will absolutely change your life too!